Perception

It's amazing how my mood affects my perception.  I was still up from yesterday and things seemed slightly more positive than they did negative.  Everything seemed a little brighter and I was quite looking forward to my walk whilst Helen did a recce for the Butcombe Ultra.  The walk itself was pretty good too even though there was quite a climb to the highest point and I managed to keep a fair pace going.

Whilst I waited at the pub for Helen to arrive I started reading Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig which Mel had given to me. The large print and unbusy layout made it easy to follow and I found a lot of parallels between the author's experience of depression and my own.  I'm definitely going to pass this book on as it gives a good perspective whether you suffer from depression or care for somebody that does.

I tried ringing Mum several times today from my mobile and left messages for her.  I got quite anxious as I wasn't getting a response, I thought that she may have gone out with my sister but there was a nagging thought that something bad had happened to her.  I called again when I got home and there was still no answer so the panic rat started running around in my stomach.  I hadn't noticed that Mum had left messages on the home phone whilst I was out but thankfully she did call me back.

Anxiety is definitely one of the cornerstones of my depression.

Now we're back home Helen is having a post run snooze and I'm watching the World Track Champs in front of a log fire.